I'm Ready

This article is cross-posted from my new Dreamwidth blog. I know it's not exactly in keeping with what this blog was about, but.. that's one reason for creating another, really. My apologies if anyone's still been watching this space. As those who know me in-world would guess though, not being around much gives me very little at all to talk about! It's for this reason that the new blog takes a much more personal slant. I will, however, keep general dolly themes in mind for this blog's future, though.

I think I'm ready to be again.

For those coming to my blog anew, this will probably sound a little odd, but you should know that I have been quiet for a long while. I'm using this space, a kind gift from a friend of my family, to try and 'get my mojo back', 'find my voice' - however you want to put it.

For those perhaps coming to my blog as linked to from the dusty corners of the web I once frequented.. hi! I missed you, but as I'm sure you know, I missed me too.

There are many reasons why I stepped away, and only a few of them were actually by my own will, or that of my Puppeteer. For coming back I need to focus on the moving on, and I have decided that actually, little is going to change. Before I left, work at Extropia had taken over a hefty part of my life, but I was still clinging on to my hobbies at Vidal's Dolly Realm and on lovely sites like Tumblr, or with friends about the social web. I'm not sure how much of this is actually going to continue, as I accumulated a good bunch of wasteful channels, and so I'll be culling these as I go along.

What I found missing was my sense of wonderment, of play and of fantasy. The grind of building at Extropia had become pretty numbing, as much as I adore the place, and for over a year now I've been conjuring little fantasies inside my head, never able to share them. This was a particular nuisance for leaving me a tad distanced from those I love, who I feel were also being left out a bit. The ultimate embodiment of this has been my doll's house. One day I'll try to describe this place, and in fact it may even be a good serial topic for this very space on Dreamwidth, but for now I'll describe it merely as a home in my imagination for all the fun things I want to do with my digital life, with some very special people, and for my own sense of.. not even 'well-being', but 'being'.

So, I'm ready. Ready to be more 'me', to speak out a little more, and hopefully to share some more. It may be risqué, the kinks may be quite niche, but it may also be fun. I hope it will be.

Thank you.

Two

So, I feel like a wisened old dolly now. I turned two years old yesterday, on Valentine's Day, and have once again given myself the excuse to be all.. reflective an' stuff.

I feel like my world has some very real clarity to it. This past year was somehow far more momentous than my first one, despite that one having turned me from the tanned Vidal of Mindulle to the porcelain doll you've come to know - from solo adventurer to beloved family member, and a creator of trinkets to co-founder of a nation. This second year has been punctuated by major changes of its own though, and many of these will evolve over the course of my coming year. Throughout it all though, I know that the love I have for my family is stronger than ever.

Following an extended period of doubt and (sadly) depression, I'm far surer of myself now than I've ever been, although there is still a long path to follow. That stands true for myself and for my Puppeteer, themselves not immune to the changes I and my family have endured.

One member of my family has sadly departed for a spell, but she's left us with characteristic dignity in a period of bittersweet calm. I am proud of my Argent, and her spell has only affirmed the relationships we of the Family Stenvaag have with each other.

I came to understand my sense of place. In accepting who and what I am, a sense of ease has descended upon myself and those around me. This has prompted some major changes to my second life, and although I cannot speak about this much now, the first change was my departure from New World Notes. Naturally, my appointment as a games writer there was one of the highlights in my past year, and it was fun. Still, times changed and I sought to remain true to myself.

I found that this 'truth to my myself' raised a curiosity: I'm celebrating my rezday today, but why did I not do so yesterday? I think that for the first time in such a long while, I felt no need to be me. No obligations, only pleasure and acceptance that things are allowed to come as they may. For that I enjoy relief today, and the sort of calm which I believe comes from being a mature digital person. Here's to my next year, of calm and enjoyment of this tender and beautiful world I'm a part of.

Dusty Doll

I'm sorry.

Friends and family have been neglected, and I'm aware that there are people outside my usual contacts list who might be reading tweets or articles, or perhaps even trying to get in touch with me at Extropia, but the fact is that as a doll living in Second Life, I am depressed.

Nasty or annoying times have come and gone, but my Second Life (in capital letters) feels unsavoury like never before. I've no intention to leave, but I feel like I have so few reasons to stay, either. My second life (lowercase) is moving wonderfully as ever, but is being dragged down by SL's hardware glitches, some unwelcome obligations and an increasing level of rudeness. One might look upon a list like that and see no cause for my complaint - even when taken alone, these are matters which pose no real damaging threat, which is to say little when compared with other reasons for staying away. Still I'm beginning to realise that this is not what I want from my second life. I live for the indulgence in beauty, the warmth of a supportive family and the joy in being able to do what I want to. I'm a doll. I most certainly should not be looking to my first life for escapism, and yet now that is precisely what I'm doing.

So, I'm sorry, but I cannot bring myself to 'be' right now. I'm absolutely keeping up communication with those I care most about via the various chat and web 2.0 platforms I have outside the Grid, but for now I really feel a strong need to keep the hell away from the Grid itself.

Onwards to 2009

I suppose it's customary for a blogger to reflect on what's passed and what lays ahead on such days as this. I'm just glad of the excuse to write, given my lack of dolly inspiration lately.

2008 has been a peculiar year, and my Puppeteer's been musing on that too. In around the first half of the year I became the focal point of my Puppeteer's two lives, and came to understand a little of the working Second Life. Given how Extropia's communal architecture is not the highly-detailed beacon of sci-fi creativity that I'd hoped for, it wasn't a particularly productive working life. Still, opportunities came and went, I and my family ploughed on, and towards the latter half things began to change dramatically. I can't really go into details, but these changes are now building up and I find myself slowly adapting to them.

2009 is going to be a big year for me personally, as well as for my Puppeteer in their First Life interests. It's likely that you'll see less of the dolly Vidal as time goes on, but this may be a positive thing too. 2007 was the year in which I was born and moulded, growing from solo explorer to part of a small group at Mindulle, to family doll and community architect. By 2008 I had my family and a purpose in Extropia, and this year has been a steady anchor. In 2009 though, it's Puppeteer's turn for maturing and breaking out into the metaverse, and I believe I shall come to find my place as a more mature, reflective doll sat upon the shelf. Clearly, I hope never to be abandoned to First Life sensibilities, but a fantasy can only continue for so long before matters risk turning sour.

I'm hoping that 2009 will still be resplendent in beautiful things to strike my awe, in fantastical adventures to excite my very existnce, and for prosperity to allow my second life a few luxuries here and there. That would be nice, and in the critical climate of our metaverse and the atomic world it echoes, I hope you can enjoy some of that too.

~ Vidal

The Vidal Channel

Please excuse me for making such a hefty diversion from my usual doll-related content, however one issue has been bugging me and I hope I can make some people's news feeds easier by fixing it.

My social networks are a mess. I recently tried to demonstrate this in my Tumblelog and the results are indecipherable even to me. No matter how I try to trim it down, I am sharing too much across networks which cross-reference each other, and I fear that someone such as yourself might be turned off by such nonsense. There's actually not much work involved at my end, but hassle at the receiving end is something I certainly don't want. If anybody has some useful suggestions they can offer, do feel free to chip in!

At the moment, I share for three reasons and these have three audiences. You may not even be aware of this, so messy is my delivery:

• Dolly content for my fellow digital dolls, and those interested in keeping them
  Found images, links, articles, found videos, playlists, books
• Steampunk and "raypunk" materials for Extropia, in my capacity as Director of Architecture
  Found images, links, articles
• Fun and inspirational content for my friends, family and readers
  Status, photos, articles, found images, links, videos, found videos, images, playlists, a wishlist ...but no books yet

Most of the time this tries to be faciltated by tags which then have individual feeds attached, but when only about half of what I use has tags as a feature, what am I to do?

As is typical for my friends and colleagues, I have 'aggregated' presence on the following 'sites:

Avatars United : : Blogger widgets : : Facebook : : Friendfeed : : Ning fora : : Tumblr

By the by, you are of course invited to subscribe to my Tumblelog and my blogs should you wish, but I do not accept friend requests from strangers yet on A.U., Ning communities or Facebook.

... and as anyone who follows me on these services will know, I have no sense of quality control about what goes on there. By that I mean that each service gets an odd dose of Extropia-related media and some dolliness mixed in with the usual guff which just happens to interest me. I've considered taking service like Friendfeed and Tumblr and dedicating each to one particular audience, but I have no idea what people would actually like. That's where you come in, really.

What takes your fancy? What're you actually using to see me? Does one 'channel' look more tempting than the others?

Avatars United
Newsfeed subscription

• Blogs (Vidal's Dolly Realm)
• Photos
• Status
  
• Videos

Ning communities
Extropia forum
Extropia Defense Force
RSS or newsfeed subscription

• Blog (Building Extropia)
  
• Links
• Playlists
• Photos
• Videos
• Found articles

Tumblr
RSS or newsfeed subscription

• Links
• Found articles
  
• Found images
  
• Found quotes
  
• Found videos

Facebook
Newsfeed subscription

• Tumblr
  
• Blog (Vidal's Dolly Realm)
• Books
• Photos
• Playlists
  
• Status
• Videos

Friendfeed
RSS or newsfeed subscription

• Tumblr
• Blogs (Vidal's Dolly Realm, Vidal's Extropian Realm, Building Extropia, and "Trip"'s Flight Log)
• Photos
• Playlists
• Status (Plurk and Twitter)
• Videos